July 29, 2012

What Insanity Will Crank 3 Entail?

The Crank films are Statham’s Rambo series. It’s his Die Hard. People may discuss about The Transporter movies being that franchise, but Crank exemplify the best of Statham. Batshit insanity and adrenaline up the ass. Now there is word of Taylor/Neveldine in the process of writing Crank 3. But where can they take it?

The first Crank was a high paced, nitro fueled, adrenaline rush of a movie with such an out there premise and yet it worked perfectly. The sequel, Crank: High Voltage, threw reality (or what little the first movie had) out the window and went all out featuring Godzilla style fights, more public screwing, hookers getting trampled, and shotguns up people’s asses. The ending of the film clearly lays the ground work for a sequel. So what do I want for the third installment?

More Insanity: I don’t know how, but they have to up the ante with this movie. The main motive could be vengeance against the people who fucked Chelios’ life up beyond recognition. I suggest just a nationwide rampage of sex and violence.

More Backstory: One of the highlights in Crank: High Voltage was the flashback to Chelios’ life and how he became the man that he is today. It gives us more of Chelios and it was hilarious to boot. More scenes like those would be welcome in the third movie. Especially if it concentrated more on Chelios early in the business.

More Eve: You can never get enough Amy Smart in my opinion. The next best thing is to feature more of Eve, Chelios’ girlfriend. Her role thus far has been limited to sex toy pretty much with two crazy public sex outings in the middle of Chinatown and a horse track. While I enjoy Smart sex (haha), I would love to feature her in a more controlling role. Maybe work as a team with Chelios with Chev showing her the ropes of eliminating bad guys.

Crazier Bad Guys: The first movie had your typical gangsters as the villains. The second movie went off the deep end with crazy nipple cutting gangsters and insane Chinese heart stealers. The third movie could probably insert a maniacal midget with an eye patch who wants to kill Chelios because he screwed his sister years ago and I would gladly accept that.

The Ice Box: This is like the briefcase from Pulp Fiction to me. What was in that small ice box that the one of the henchmen was running around with? Chelios was clearly disgusted and they spend a good chunk of the movie chasing after it so why not give some closure? Or maybe I don’t want to know. This will join “the three seashells” from Demolition Man as one of the morbid curiosities.

So there you have it. Some of the groundwork I expect from Crank 3 and will promptly get my ass in the theaters when it comes out.

About the Author

My name is Omar and I love action movies. I grew up loving action films thanks in part to my father who would deliver a healthy dose of Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Willis, and Seagal in my movie diet. Ever since then, I continue to love the genre more and more and go along perfectly with my love for the horror genre. What other movie genre can specialize in giving you pure adrenaline and excitement in every turn?



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