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March 18, 2013
 

Why You Should Vote Palpatine

Emperor Palpatine has always been a rather misunderstood individual; while everyone focuses on silly little things like the mass genocide he has committed throughout the galaxy, he has actually done some good.

For example, think of all the jobs he has created with the construction of not one, but TWO Death Stars. The amount of construction workers hired to create the most destructive force in the galaxy really helped to fuel the economy. Rumour has it they provide an excellent healthcare package, which even includes dental.

As per the conversation in Clerks one has to think, did the rebels actually kill more people when they blew up the Death Stars than the Empire did in their 20 odd year reign? But I digress, this isn’t about the rebel scum, it’s about Palpatine.

Not only does he care about creating jobs but he is not without compassion. As Obi-Wan Kenobi buggered off and left his best friend Anakin lying in a smouldering heap on Mustafar, it was up to Palpatine to rescue him, give him new legs, breathing apparatus and eventually reunite father and son.

By (literally) destroying the senate, he ended corruption and created a whole new empire.

So remember, when the time comes to vote for the next ruler of the galaxy VOTE PALPATINE for a safe and secure society.



About the Author

Eoin Friel
Eoin Friel
I grew up watching JCVD, Sly and Arnold destroy bad guys, blow things up and spew one-liners like it's a fashion statement. Action is everything I go to the movies for and the reason I came up with this site is to share my love for the genre with everyone.



 
 

 

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