October 30, 2013

The Do-It-Yourself Action Hero Kit

You’re brave, resourceful and always root for the underdog. Why not be a real-life action hero? The world is full of bad guys, from evil international criminals to local thugs who prey on the weak. It’s time for someone new to step up and take over the job of flashily fighting for justice. The Batman movie franchise alone has grossed almost $2 billion, so the merchandising of your character should be worth the work. Becoming an action hero is a tough job, but having the right equipment will help.

Clothing Style

The best way for an action hero to overwhelm the bad guys is to embrace a persona that’s non-threatening. Evildoers see someone like Arnold Schwarzenegger in “Kindergarten Cop,” and they think he’s just a big, friendly guy. Whether you look like a nerd, a suburban dad or a ballet teacher, giving the bad guys a false sense of security is what it’s all about.


You’ve got to take the bad guys out, and it’s much cooler if you do it with an unusual method. Liam Neeson has his gun and CIA training in “Taken,” but MacGuyver was much cooler making it up as he went along. Which character will be remembered longer? Find your version of the bat utility belt and rock it.

A Great Vehicle

Your four-door sedan is fine for everyday life, but it’s just not going to cut it as an action hero’s mode of transport. You need something cool and memorable, like a sports car or a custom motorcycle. Go all out and add a collection of motorcycle helmets to match every outfit, and add bulletproof lining to thwart the bad guys. Once they make a movie of your adventures, you can get a new helmet for every sequel in the franchise.


Lots of action heroes are cops or ex-cops (think “Die Hard,” “Taken,” and even “24”), but you don’t have to go through all that police training just to do some good in the world. You just have to be an ordinary person who’s pushed against the wall one too many times. Harrison Ford was a doctor in “The Fugitive” and the president in “Air Force One,” but both characters managed to tap into their inner action hero when needed.

Catch Phrase

Every great action hero needs a memorable catch phrase. From Clint Eastwood’s “Go ahead, make my day!” to Bruce Willis and his “Yippie-ki-yay, Motherf_____”, a catch phrase always gives an action hero an added bit of panache. Your catch phrase should say something about your action hero persona (Jack Bauer’s constantly stating “I’M A FEDERAL AGENT” at top volume) and should be unique enough to be repeated and connected only to you (“Yo, Adrian!”). Try using your catch phrase for a couple of weeks with friends and co-workers. If they start repeating it themselves, you’ve got a winner. If they laugh at you and give you funny side-eye looks, you might want to work on it.

About the Author

Eoin Friel
Eoin Friel
I grew up watching JCVD, Sly and Arnold destroy bad guys, blow things up and spew one-liners like it's a fashion statement. Action is everything I go to the movies for and the reason I came up with this site is to share my love for the genre with everyone.



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