December 24, 2013

Best. Villain. Ever.

Everyone loves a villain.  Sure you may be rooting for the good guys, but admit it, part of you roots for the villain.  If the villain is good, and I mean well written and well acted, then you route for the bad guy more. Like Boyka in Undisputed 2.  See, that’s a case where the bad was so good, he appeared in the sequel as the hero.  Then you have a bad guy that’s just really weak.  Like Timothy Olyphant in Die Hard 4.  Not really Timothy’s fault, he just had a weak script.  Then you have someone who is just head and shoulders above everyone.  Marduk!  Who’s Marduk?  Let me educate you.

It’s no secret I love martial arts films.  And my favorite of all time is a little treasure called ‘Kill and Kill Again’.  I used to watch it every single day, up to 4 times a day on cable when I was little.  I still own the Beta-Max tape.  It has a nice DVD out now, at a very low price, so I recommend anyone who has not seen it to go and pick it up.

‘Kill and Kill Again’ stars James Ryan as Steve Chase, the world’s Karate Champion.  Bet you didn’t know they gave trophies for that did you?  Well he gets one, while fighting thugs in a casino.  He’s fighting them because they were hired by a lovely lady named Kandy Kane, who wants to see if he’s as good as they say.  He is!  She needs him to go and save her dad from the world’s best villain: Marduk.  He father is a scientist who, while working to develop fuel from potatoes, accidently developed a mind control formula.  This fell into Marduk’s hands and now he has taken over an entire town, built an arena where his fighter The Optimist is champion, and trains all his guards in karate.  He wants to take this formula and pollute the world’s water supply.  Like I said, he has a whole town under mind control, so Steve will need help.  And boy does he get it.

He recruits a former Kickboxing champion, now living in a trailer park named Gypsy Billy, Gorilla, a man banned from Pro Wrestling for biting off opponent’s ears, Hot Dog, a fast talking con man, and The Fly, a martial artist so great he can levitate and climb up walls.  Oh yeah, he brings the hot chick Kandy Kane as well because she also knows karate.  In fact everyone in the movie knows karate… even random bartenders.

So what follows is basically a giant fight scene.  The group drives a few miles and gets attacked by tons of bad guys… and then beats them up.  They drive some more and get attacked again.  This happens a lot… trust me.  When they make it to town they get captured and all have to fight in the arena of death.  They all win by the way.  So I know what you’re thinking, if they won doesn’t that make Marduk a loser?  Oh No, let me explain.

See, not only does Marduk want to take over the world, a trait every good villain should posses, but he is doing this by way of a serum made from potatoes.  Who does that?  Nobody!  He wears a poop brown outfit that’s a cross between gang wear, pimp wear, and UPS Driver.  He not only has a whole town under mind control, but he makes sure they all know karate.  He even has his own fighting arena, and a champion, who he dresses in a giant diaper.

Now I know what you may be thinking.  The bad guy in Enter the Dragon also had his own arena… and his own island… AND he had a fake hand.  Well guess what? Marduk is so badass, he has a fake beard.  Yes, a fake beard.  You may be thinking, what, was the film so low budget he had a cheap clearly glue on beard?  You may be right, but I believe that he wore this as he was a master of disguise.

So let’s sum it up:

  1. Mind control via potatoes
  2. Takes over entire town
  3. Makes sure everyone knows karate in said town
  4. Builds arena
  5. Has a champion, which also makes him a fight promoter
  6. Dresses like a UPS driver/futuristic pimp and wears a fake beard.

Take that Darth Vader!

About the Author

Cory G
Cory G
I have a deep love for cinema, and from time to time I enjoy sharing my views on different films and topics.

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