July 9, 2014

Wackiest Action Movie Moments

Warning, if you are easily offended, go away as you’ll probably find some of this footage disturbing. You have been warned.

I love watching an action movie and then something happens where you think “What the Hell?” You know, the moment where something usually hilarious happens and you wonder “how did they come up with that?”

Well I’ve come up with a few of my personal favourite moments; if you can come up with any others then let us know.




JCVD vs. a Penguin (Sudden Death)

Sudden has always been one of my favourite Jean-Claude Van Damme movies; it’s almost unbearably tense with Powers Boothe on top form as the villainous Joshua Foss. He has rigged a hockey stadium t blow up during the Stanley Cup unless he is given an obscene amount of money from the US government. He eventually ends up taking a little girl hostage who just so happens to be the daughter of Darren McCord (JCVD). While looking for his daughter Darren comes into the kitchen and comes face to face with… a Penguin! Yup, a woman in a Penguin mascot suit. Your first notion is to burst out laughing because it’s so bonkers, then the two have an awesome fight scene which results in said penguin being strangled in a meat cutting machine thing. It’s a darkly funny moment in an otherwise tension-filled movie and remains a highlight.

Put the bunny back in the box (Con Air)

Con Air is one of my all-time favourite films, that’s just a fact but the reason is that it is pretty much a comedy. It doesn’t take itself remotely seriously and this scene made the audience howl with laughter. Cameron Poe is trapped on a plane with a bunch of the most dangerous criminals society has ever produced.  He just wants to get home to his wife and daughter, unfortunately…. He just got on the wrong plane! While trying to mind his own business, Poe notices psychopath Billy Bedlam heading to the cargo area of the plane. Poe follows after him and he discovers Billy looking through his own stuff. Billy picks up a stuffed rabbit which Poe has bought for s daughter Casey. “Put the bunny back in the box” threatens Poe. The two men charge at each other and have an awesome fight with that wicked theme tune blaring in the background. Billy gets impaled on a random pipe to which Poe retorts “Why couldn’t you put the bunny back in the box?!”

Jason Statham & a Hose vs. Everyone (The Transporter 2)

The Transporter 2 gets too much hate but for this scene alone, I love it. Frank Martin (Statham) is trying to stop a drug dealer from an assassination but has to get through a legion of goons first. When penetrating (he he) the villains lair Frank grabs the nearest weapon… a hose, which he uses to devastating effect. Bad guys are thrown left and right to comical effect and Frank eventually saves the day.

The Chosen One vs. Moo Nieu (Kung Pow: Enter the Fist)

Arguably the most insane fight on this list Kung Pow: Enter the Fist has one of the most memorable fights you’ll ever see.  Our hero known as The Chosen One fights a Holstein cow gifted in karate, with a large udder that can squirt milk as a weapon. They have the most bizarre fight which also has a few nods at The Matrix. The fight ends with The Chosen One milking Moo Nieu until her udder is empty, leaving her incapacitated. Udderly ridiculous… yeah, I went there.

Public Displays of Affection (Crank 1 & 2) 

I think pretty much every scene in the Crank movies are especially insane but the sex scenes in VERY public places have to be the most shocking and may also not be the best movies to watch on a first date. Still, it has the Stath taking part in some very different action with Amy Smart  as he literally has sex to stay alive.

I can’t think of too many other movies with this much gratuitous sex except maybe…

Sex and Guns (Shoot ‘em Up)

Shoot ‘em Up remains a bit of an underrated classic in my book and it lovingly pokes fun of the action genre we love. The fact that Clive Owen’s mysterious hero Smith kills people with a carrot at one point shows that this is not your normal action movie. No, it’s like a Bugs Bunny carton come to glorious life in a cacophony of sex and violence. No scene mixes the two together better than Smith getting it on with Monica Belluci’s Donna Quintano while shooting up a legion of goons. After they (ahem) finish, Smith retorts “Talk about shooting your load!” Classy.

It would later be completely ripped off by Drive Angry with Nicolas Cage smoking a cigar and drinking Jack Daniels while doing the nasty.

Hovercraft in the city (Rumble in the Bronx)

Practically every Jackie Chan film has insane action as well but I found it difficult to pin down just one. I have to say that the hovercraft through the city in Rumble in the Bronx is way up there. Amazingly original with some exceptional stunt work, It’s wacky Jackie doing what he does best; destroying things in spectacular fashion and it’s never anything less than hugely entertaining.

About the Author

Eoin Friel
Eoin Friel
I grew up watching JCVD, Sly and Arnold destroy bad guys, blow things up and spew one-liners like it's a fashion statement. Action is everything I go to the movies for and the reason I came up with this site is to share my love for the genre with everyone.

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