Toothless
Summary
Luke Evans and CGI bats can’t save this mediocre movie, burdened with a sluggish pace and a lack of thrills.
Plot: Dracula (Luke Evans) accepts the gift of vampiric powers from the Master Vampire (Charles Dance) to thwart the evil machinations of a cruel Ottoman sultan (Dominic Cooper).
Review: Dracula Untold was one of those films that I wanted to see when it came out, but the trailers gave me pause. I mean, another crack at the Dracula legend? How many of these have there been now? Oh, wait, this is Dracula Untold, so this will be new, right? This movie was supposed to launch the Universal Monsters Universe! Oh, wait…
Well, yeah, it is. But perhaps there’s a reason this was previously untold. Maybe that’s the reason, because it wasn’t really that good. It makes me chuckle sometimes when people are like, “Why haven’t we tried this yet?” Sometimes, yes, you come across a gem that no one has discovered. But then again, you sometimes find out what concepts weren’t explored and why some stories are better left…untold.
I think part of the problem is that the movie tried to make Dracula a “good guy.” Dracula? The guy who doesn’t drink…wine? The guy who murdered all those people on the Demeter? Who took sweet Lucy’s life? That Dracula? Even the real-life Vlad Tepes was known to cut quite the cruel figure – he didn’t get the nickname Vlad the Impaler because he enjoyed chicken skewers. Even this movie alludes to his dark past. It’s all alright, though! He was forced to do it! Ah…alright. Yeah, I prefer my Dracula to be all brooding and sinister, not misunderstood.
Without the chills and horror element, Dracula Untold is left to rely on itself to be an action movie and in this case…yeah. There are some action scenes, and yes, there is a cool scene where Dracula cuts through a bunch of enemy troops with his sword like Swiss cheese, hacking and slashing with the best of them. That’s the best scene. Otherwise, he’s controlling CGI bats to attack a CGI army that is blindfolded. No, really. I’m not joking. Even the final fight, taking place on a carpet of silver coins, feels more humdrum than engaging. Basically, the filmmakers took this new take on Dracula, cast Luke Evans, and dusted their hands off. We’re done! We don’t have to do anything else.
For the cast, it’s almost non-descript. Luke Evans tries his level best to emote, to convey a tortured and conflicted character. He really does try, and I take my hat off to him. He gives his money’s worth. However, everyone else is just going through the motions. Dominic Cooper looks bored, and the only evil thing about him is his eyebrows. Dracula’s lady fair, played by Sarah Gadon, looks like she wishes she were somewhere, anywhere else. The rest of the cast seems like “competent theatre troop” going through the motions. Charles Dance is great with that voice in his small role, but he barely shows up after giving Dracula the powers.
I will say, the atmosphere and the cinematography were top-notch. The score by Ramin Djawadi was moody and perfectly fit – if you’re making a horror movie. However, take out the menace of Dracula and the Master Vampire sipping cappuccino just out of the camera lens, and you’re left with a toothless gothic action movie with too few action scenes and not enough of anything else to make up for it.
So, this Halloween, if you’re looking for some horror to go with your action, watch…Blade. Or Blade II. Not Blade Trinity (God no, not Blade Trinity). Maybe The Crow, or They Live, or Aliens. Just don’t bother with Dracula Untold. It’s best to leave that movie where it should have been left to begin with – Untold. Or Unwatched.