Getting a divorce can turn your finances and emotional wellbeing upside down. Even with a good lawyer and a positive outcome, it can affect your credit score, retirement plans, parenting routines, and your mental health. However, moving forward after a divorce is possible with the right strategy.
This article outlines practical steps you can take to maintain stability after your divorce.
Stabilize your finances immediately
The disruption to your finances after a divorce will probably hit the hardest. Studies show that women see their income drop by 41% after a divorce while men see a 23% drop. A significant change in income can affect your housing, access to credit, cash flow, and your ability to contribute to your retirement savings.
The first thing to do is conduct a full inventory of your financial situation. List all of your assets, liabilities, income streams, and monthly expenses. This includes bank accounts, retirement accounts, credit cards, outstanding loans, insurance policies, household bills, side income, main income, and essential living expenses. Knowing exactly what you have coming in and going out will help you avoid overlooking key obligations while you reorganize your finances.
Next, create a new budget that realistically reflects your current income and expenses post-divorce. There’s a good chance you’ll need to alter your lifestyle to make it work. For instance, you might need to move into a smaller house or apartment, cut back on childcare, and cancel subscriptions and expenses you don’t actually need.
Last, update all of your legal and financial documents to reflect your current situation. You might need to change beneficiaries, update your will, and change your healthcare proxies.
Protect your credit health
It’s common for people to experience damaged credit after a divorce, especially when you need to pay off shared or individual debts. Where joint debts are concerned, if either of you miss a payment, it will affect both of your credit scores. Try to get your lenders to refinance joint loans and put them into individual names. This will help you maintain control over your debt without having to rely on your ex to be responsible.
Monitor your credit report on a regular basis, beyond just the yearly credit report you can get for free. Sign up for credit monitoring services either independently or through your bank or credit union for the best protection. If your score starts to drop, consider getting a secured credit card or a small loan that you can pay off consistently to build more credit.
Take care of your emotional wellbeing
Divorce is stressful, and that makes you prone to anxiety, depression, and sleep disturbances. Seeing a therapist from the start can give you the support and structure you need to process your emotions and develop healthy coping strategies.
Establishing a predictable daily routine is another great way to stabilize your emotions. Getting good sleep, physical exercise, eating well, and making your work hours as consistent as possible will help keep stress at bay.
Most importantly, limit all high-conflict interactions. If you’re co-parenting with an ex who brings chaos and drama to the table, communicate with them in writing only and set clear boundaries.
Rebuild support systems
After a divorce, your social circle will probably be disrupted. Some mutual friendships might disappear and make you feel isolated. Reach out to your family and long-time friends for support or join a support group either online or in person. Sharing your experiences with others who are also going through a divorce can reduce feelings of isolation and help you rebuild your strength.
One thing you might not think about is taking your time with new potential romantic partners. Don’t rush into a relationship because you might just be trying to fill an emotional void. Stabilize yourself first and then consider new partnerships.
Redefine your long-term goals
There’s a good chance your long-term goals will be disrupted after divorce. Whether you made plans with your partner or on your own while expecting support from your partner, you’ll probably need to rethink your direction in life. It’s normal to reassess your identity after getting divorced, and that might include changing your career, gaining new skills, and setting different personal goals.
Every step will move you forward
Divorce can shake you but it’s not impossible to move through. It takes time to rebuild your life after everything falls apart. But once you stabilize your finances and emotional life, you can build a stronger foundation for your future.