Return to Savage Beach (1998) Mill Creek Blu-ray Review

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Summary

These movies are literally like Saturday morning cartoons, but with nipples and butts. If you took away the nudity, they’d be “PG”-rated. It even ends like a cartoon, with all of the characters laughing in a circle. There was always an innocence to these films, and it’s a gift that we got so many, and it’s a little sad that there’s nothing even remotely like this being made today.

Plot: The L.E.A.T.H.A.L. force has one last mission that brings them back virtually to the beginning of their adventures.

Review: In the final of 12(!) entries in the long-running Andy Sidaris action / adventure / comedy series, Return to Savage Beach has the covert L.E.A.T.H.A.L. (Legion to Ensure Total Harmony and Law) team getting wind of an old resurfaced enemy in the masked Rodrigo (played by Rodrigo Obregon, who was in at least a half a dozen of these movies as different characters), whose intentions to screw around with the security of the United States are about to come to a head when he ensnares one of the LETHAL ladies to get more than just her secrets from. The team is led by the Amazonian Willow Black (Julie Strain) and former bad guy Warrior (Marcus Bagwell), and they get wind of a lost Japanese treasure located in Savage Beach, where their team once had an adventure years ago. In between showering sessions, wardrobe changes, and romps in bed (and in the water, and at strip clubs), the team dodges ninjas, bullets, and bad puns.

For being the last of a dozen films, Return to Savage Beach is about what you’d expect if you’ve made it this far, but it’s noticeably less busy, with no exploding helicopters or cars, and fewer projectiles than before. The girls with their balloon-sized breasts are only too eager to strip and then redress in protracted scenes that add little to no purpose other than contributing to the “R”-rating. These movies are literally like Saturday morning cartoons, but with nipples and butts. If you took away the nudity, they’d be “PG”-rated. It even ends like a cartoon, with all of the characters laughing in a circle. There was always an innocence to these films, and it’s a gift that we got so many, and it’s a little sad that there’s nothing even remotely like this being made today. Rest in peace, Andy. You were a kid until the end.

Mill Creek’s epic effort to produce all 12 of these films for the high definition home video market concludes with this final entry, and it looks really solid in widescreen. The picture quality is crisp, and the soundtrack is sharp. Bonus features on this very affordable Blu-ray include an old intro by Andy and Julie, plus an audio commentary, trailers, and a behind the scenes feature.

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