Plot: The heroic G.I. Joe action force must oppose the ruthless Cobra organization that has secretly allied with a subterranean reptilian people who were their founders.
COBRA LALALALALA! I haven’t watched this since I was a young lad, and all this were nowt but fields, but G.I. Joe: The Movie is still an entertaining romp and I’m surprised how hard it’s been to get a decent live action interpretation.
G.I. Joe always had the coolest characters like Snake Eyes, Jinx, Storm Shadow (who isn’t in this movie), Sergeant Slaughter, Flint, Duke, Tunnel Rat, Destro and Lt. Falcon to name just a few.
In G.I. Joe: The Movie our fearless team of Joes not only have to battle Cobra (COBRAHHH!!) but the villains take refuge in Cobra-La which is where Cobra Commander was created many years ago. We actually see him before he wore the mask which I forgot about. We get new characters like Nemesis Enforcer and the amazingly named Golobulus (Burgess Meredith) who are the real threat to the world. They want to steal a device known as The Broadcast Energy Transmitter which was designed to provide a solution to the planet’s energy needs, but instead the villains want to use it to reclaim the planet for themselves.
Don Johnson voices Duke’s half brother Lt. Falcon who has a problem following orders and likes to harass his female co-workers. After screwing up he is sent to train with Sergeant Slaughter where he learns how to be a real soldier and play as part of a team. It’s funny hearing Johnson’s voice as all I hear is Crockett from Miami Vice.
I like how in this movie Cobra Commander finally gets his comeuppance being turned into an actual snake by Golobulus. He was always such a screaming coward and never a threatening villain; he is lesser compared to Serpentor who is the true leader of Cobra. I could never get over even as a kid how Cobra Commander had the same voice as Starscream from Transformers. Both characters were voiced by the late Christopher Collins who passed away back in 1994.
I think you could do a cool version of Cobra Commander in a modern live action movie. He was actually pretty awesome in G.I. Joe Retaliation; however, I remember nothing about it so I may revisit it soon.
It’s hard not to compare this with Transformers: The Movie but I think Transformers is superior due to the sheer childhood trauma involved. They killed off Optimus Prime and numerous other characters which was such a shock at my young age. G.I. Joe has Duke get badly injured but somehow survives being stabbed in the chest which takes away any potential drama. Nobody dies in this and despite stopping Golobulus at the end they are all still alive to strike again. Cobra Commander remains a serpent at the end and that isn’t resolved, but likely was later in the cartoons.
In the U.K. we didn’t really get to see the cartoons as the toys were known as Action Force for some reason. Funnily enough, this site was initially going to be called that when I started it, but then I watched The Killer Elite with James Caan, and the rest is history.
On the action front, well this is cartoon but there are still lots of explosions and Duke has a fight with Serpentor. It’s all kid friendly so sadly no one is brutally murdered (boo!) but it’s well paced and just under 90 minutes.
Serpentor shouting Cobra LALALALAALA is hilarious and hearing Yo, Joe! every 3 seconds gets tiresome quickly; I’m sure they don’t need to say it that often.
Overall, G.I. Joe: The Movie is a fun piece of nostalgia, but it lacks the traumatic elements that made Transformers so iconic. It’s entertaining to try and guess who the voice actors are with the likes of Peter Cullen and Frank Welk providing their vocal talents at various points. There is plenty of kid friendly action but I’m hopeful that someday somebody might make a good live action version as there is serious potential here.