Plot: Rip is the World Wrestling Federation champion who is faithful to his fans and the network he wrestles for. Brell, the new head of the World Television Network, wants Rip to wrestle for his network. Rip refuses and goes back to his normal life. Still looking for a way to raise ratings, Brell initiates a show called “The Battle of the Tough Guys”, a violent brawling competition. A mysterious man, Zeus, wins the competition. This gets Brell to use him as an angle to get at Rip.
I realized recently that we have never covered the “cinema” of Hulk Hogan, so I thought I would rectify that over the coming weeks. First up is one of his best known movies which after several decades is every bit as crazy and entertaining as it was way back in 1989.
It’s funny what we used to watch growing up as this was seen as a family movie, however there are several moments aimed squarely at adults and despite the cartoonish tone the story does get a little dark at times. There is an attempted rape, the same woman gets hit in the face, Hulk’s brother is beaten until he is a disabled and jokes are made about small wieners, so it definitely is a no holds barred movie.
Hulk Hogan doesn’t really act in this and neither does Tommy Lister Jr; they mostly say “Arghh” and “Grrr”, but that’s all they need to say as that’s all that’s expected of them. Tommy Lister Jr. plays Zeus, a crazed fighter who wants to take the crown from current champion Rip (Hogan) and satanically evil TV-Network Boss Brell (Kurt Fuller) will do anything to make this happen including sending a guy to rape The Hulkster’s woman. I cannot stress enough just what an absolute turd Fuller is in this movie; he’s always been great playing the asshole character who is usually an annoying bureaucrat, but here he plays Brell as pure evil. I mean, he is just a caricature, but he is one of the most underrated villains of the late 80’s. Zeus gets the kudos for being huge and scary, but he is just a puppet of this absolute monster.
Hulk plays Rip as the lovable wrestler who has adoring fans everywhere while Zeus just walks around like he’s about to literally explode. I love how he has a mono-brow just to add to his bonkers appearance.
This movie is packed with fight scenes and the final showdown between Rip and Zeus is the stuff of legend, but I also love how Brell gets an incredibly satisfying comeuppance.
The supporting cast includes Mean Gene Okerland himself and Jesse Ventura in brief cameos at the beginning, but we also get to see a young Mark Pellegrino as Rip’s brother Randy and Joan Severance as Rip’s love interest Samantha.
At around 90 minutes No Holds Barred is well paced with near constant fighting managing to be both terrible and amazing at the same time. So Sue Me! I love No Holds Barred and if you don’t then you have better taste than me.
