Sue Me! I Like Sorceress (1982)

Plot: Sword and sorcery story of the cosmic struggle between white magic and black magic.

I’ve always had a soft spot for the sword and sorcery movies released in the early 80’s mostly cashing in on the success of Conan; while scouring Tubi for something terrible to watch recently I stumbled upon Sorceress which may well be one of the best worst films you’ll ever see.

It is filled with near constant nudity, steals the music score from Battle Beyond the Stars and has a horny (literally) goat man called Pando whose only dialogue is “mehh”. The movie has been disowned by the director and rightly so as it is hilariously bad but that’s also why it’s one of the most entertaining movies I’ve watched for some time.

It has regular sword fights, crap outfits, special effects and is also dubbed at times for some reason so it feels like a foreign film which only adds to the sheer enjoyment factor.

The coolest character is the warrior Baldar (Bruno Rey) who swears to protect our two naïve sisters Mira (Leigh Harris)and Mara (Lynette Harris) who are hunted by Traigon (Roberto Ballesteros) as he wants to sacrifice them to his God for some reason. The highlight is the last 20 minutes which has Baldur facing off against some zombies while Traigon succeeds in bringing his God to life but she doesn’t last long as a winged lion (which is a hand puppet) is thankfully there to stop her.

It’s all absolute nonsense but at around 80 minutes long it’s certainly never boring and the sheer amount of nudity should help you pay attention. Whoever came up with the idea of tying up the barbarian Erlick naked to that pole with a spike at the bottom should seek help as that’s just plain wrong.

Overall, Sorceress is one of the silliest, funniest and most entertaining sword and sorcery films of the 80’s probably for all the wrong reasons but dear God is it a fun time so Sue Me! I love Sorceress and if you don’t then you clearly have good taste in movies.