Essential
Summary
The Conan Chronicles 4K is for me the only way to watch these two classic Arnold movies; they look and sound pristine with hours of special features to keep viewers entertained.
This is Arnold at his physical peak and the first movie especially has several iconic and quotable moments. The second film is more watered down aiming for a family audience which wasn’t a great idea, but it’s still a fun fantasy tale.
About the Set: Ripped from the pages of Robert E. Howard’s beloved pulp stories, 1982’s Conan the Barbarian and its sequel, 1984’s Conan the Destroyer, not only popularized a new subgenre – the sword-and-sorcery film – but also made a cinematic icon of the star playing the titular hero, former bodybuilding sensation Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Conan the Barbarian, from maverick filmmaker John Milius, sees the Cimmerian thief and future king rise up from slavery to become an unparalleled and fearsome warrior, intent on vengeance against the evil snake cult that slaughtered his family long ago, led by the shape-shifting sorcerer Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones). In the sequel, helmed by action veteran Richard Fleischer, Conan finds himself escorting a young princess on a quest for a mythical horn that will awaken a slumbering god, battling an onslaught of evil beasts, wizards and cannibals along the way.
At long last, these glorious odes to the days of high adventure have been restored in stunning 4K with hours of bonus features and heart-racing Atmos remixes that immerse you in the action, accompanied throughout by electrifying music scores by the late Basil Poledouris (RoboCop). If you do not listen… then to hell with you!
I just picked up the Conan Chronicles on 4K, so it feels like a good time to rewatch Conan The Barbarian and Conan the Destroyer and give fresh reviews, but more importantly how they look in 4K.
First off, let’s look at the 1982 classic Conan The Barbarian.
Conan The Barbarian (1982)
Plot: A vengeful barbarian warrior sets off to avenge his tribe and his parents whom were slain by an evil sorcerer and his warriors when he was a boy.
Review: I don’t think I have ever truly appreciated this movie as much as when I watched it the other night on 4K for the first time; Conan the Barbarian looks incredible on this format and we finally have all three versions of the film in one place.
When I was younger I thought the movie was rather slow in parts and admittedly it still is, however I really found myself getting caught up in the wonderful escapism and enjoying Conan’s adventures. It’s hard to picture anyone other than Arnold Schwarzenegger playing Conan as this is the role he was born to play. Others have tried over the years, most notably Jason Momoa in the (sort of) remake which I actually don’t hate and enjoy it for what it is.
In Conan The Barbarian our young warrior is living happily in his village with his mother and father when they are attacked by Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones) and his army. Conan’s parents are massacred and he is taken prisoner, forced into slavery for many years until he is fully grown. He essentially becomes a Gladiator and realizes he enjoys the taste of bloodshed. He is eventually freed and begins his quest for vengeance as he hunts down Thulsa Doom. Conan isn’t alone however, teaming up along the way with Valeria (Sandahl Bergman) who he falls in love with and fellow thief Subotai (Gerry Lopez).
The interesting thing about the courtship between Conan and Valeria is that he barely speaks to her in the entire movie. It’s all stolen glances and it works so much better than clunky dialogue.
There are several wonderful quotable moments like Arnie’s “What is best in life?” speech and I love Mako’s voiceover as he chronicles Conan’s exploits. In the movie the late, great Mako plays the wizard Akiro who ends up saving Conan’s life after he is crucified on the Tree of Woe.
Despite the pacing being somewhat ponderous there is still plenty of action with swordfights and violence occurring frequently with some gratuitous nudity thrown in for good measure. With the violence and sex this actually feels like the story of a genuine Barbarian which is why it mostly works better than the watered down (but still entertaining) sequel.
One of my favourite aspects of the film is the fantastic score from Basil Poledouris; it’s genuinely epic sounding with a great theme tune that is remarkably similar to Jerry Goldsmith’s Total Recall (which came several years afterwards). I watched the movie several days ago and the theme is still going through my head.
James Earl Jones is always amazing in every role and he is especially effective as Thulsa Doom; he is creepy yet understated even when he slowly transforms into a giant serpent during an orgy. That is something I never thought I would write.
It’s always nice to see Arnold movie regular Sven-Ole Thorsen who shows up as the villainous Thorgrim; other supporting cast members include Max von Sydow as Osric and William Smith as Corin.
Although some of the special effects are very much of the time period I never let that take away from my enjoyment as some of the imagery was wonderfully surreal; the spirits of death coming for Conan while Valeria tries to fight them off is one of the best scenes, but the vision of Valeria as a warrior angel is utterly stunning.
Overall, Conan the Barbarian took me a long time to truly appreciate but as I’m older now I enjoy the nuance and the slower pacing as it helps to create the atmosphere. Arnold is perfect as Conan and will likely never be bettered in the role and there is enough violence and nudity to keep viewers glued to their screens.
Conan the Destroyer (1984)
Plot: Conan, the swashbuckler, is promised that his dead love will be revived if he procures a magic crystal from a magic fortress. He gathers Grace Jones, Mako, and Tracey Walter (fighter, wizard, and thief) to help him as he overcomes the perils on the way.
Review: Conan the Destroyer is quite a different movie from the first one; it is lighter in tone and is essentially more of a family adventure.
This was a deliberate move by the studio who thought they would copy Lucas and Spielberg and make a successful family film, but it essentially ended up killing the franchise with Arnold and the director Richard Fleischer unhappy with the film.
Although lacking the violence and nudity of the first film Conan still gets to lop a few heads off and it is surprisingly violent for a PG rating; the one thing I liked though is that this movie is well paced. Where the first movie arguably dragged at times, there is action from the start and it doesn’t let up really until the end.
Like Conan The Barbarian some of the effects are a little dated, but it still has some imaginative ideas; the ghost bird picking up Princess Jehnna (Olivia D’Abo) and carrying her away to the wizard’s castle still looks otherworldly.
Even though this has a lighter tone than the first film Arnold still embodies Conan perfectly and really gets to show off his prowess with a sword in spectacular fashion.
I always wanted Bombaata (Wilt Chamberlain) to have a redemption arc where he teams up with Conan at the end as I felt there was potential there, but instead he remains a villain until the very end. It’s amazing to see Arnold look small in comparison to someone as Wilt towers over everyone.
The story involves our heroes sent on a quest to retrieve a magic crystal so Conan can revive his dead love; obviously this isn’t what Queen Taramis (Sarah Douglas from Superman) has in mind where she really wants to sacrifice the Princess and bring back the God Dagoth, which would spell doom for mankind. Sarah Douglas always made for a fun villain and she shines as the treacherous Queen Taramis coming across as cold and ruthless with ease.
Mako returns as Akiro the Wizard who manages to keep a straight face while making various bizarre sounds, but saves our group of heroes regularly.
I wasn’t a huge fan of Tracey Walter as Malak who is more of a coward and comic relief character than Subokai who, despite being a thief was still a hero. Malak does get his moments however, especially when he uses his knives to attack his enemies in battle.
I always felt Grace Jones should play a live action version of Clone Wars character Asajj Ventress as she would capture her personality perfectly. She utterly belongs in this movie as the fearless warrior Zula who vows to follow Conan after he saves her from a nasty fate. She is suitably badass, but she also has the funniest moment of the entire movie when the gang are underground and she sees a rat and screams. Everyone turns to her smiling and she shrugs it off; it just felt very real and makes me laugh every time.
Basil Poledouris returns to score but for some reason doesn’t keep the same music, giving us a fun score but once again not as good as Conan The Barbarian’s. It still has a catchy and memorable tune, but I do prefer the first.
Overall, Conan the Destroyer is arguably better paced than the first film, but the PG rating means it feels somewhat watered town lacking the violence and nudity of Barbarian; the lighter tone makes it more accessible for casual viewers who are just looking for a fun fantasy adventure, however I say just watch both movies.
4K ULTRA HD BLU-RAY LIMITED EDITION CONTENTS
– Brand new 4K restorations of both films from the original negatives by Arrow Films
– 4K (2160p) UHD Blu-ray presentations of both films in Dolby Vision (HDR10 compatible)
– Three versions of Conan the Barbarian via seamless branching: Theatrical Cut (127 mins), International Cut (129 mins) and Extended Cut (130 mins)
– Newly restored original mono audio and remixed Dolby Atmos surround audio for both films
– Optional English subtitles for the deaf and hard-of-hearing on both films
– Archive commentary for Conan the Barbarian by John Milius and Arnold Schwarzenegger
– Archive commentaries for Conan the Destroyer by Richard Fleischer and actors Olivia d’Abo, Tracey Walter and Sarah Douglas
– Brand new commentaries for both films by genre historian Paul M. Sammon
– Newly assembled isolated score tracks in lossless stereo for both films
– Newly filmed interviews for Conan the Barbarian with production artist William Stout, costume designer John Bloomfield, special effects crew members Colin Arthur and Ron Hone, actors Jorge Sanz and Jack Taylor, assistant editor Peck Prior, visual effects animators Peter Kuran and Katherine Kean, filmmaker Robert Eggers (The Northman) and authors John Walsh and Alfio Leotto
– Newly filmed interviews for Conan the Destroyer with Bloomfield and Walsh, casting director Johanna Ray, art director Kevin Phipps and stunt coordinator Vic Armstrong
– Conan Unchained: The Making of Conan, an archive documentary from 2000 featuring interviews with Schwarzenegger, Milius, Stone, Jones, Lopez, Bergman, Poledouris and several others
– Archive bonus features for both films, including interviews with sword master Kiyoshi Yamasaki, writers Roy Thomas & Gerry Conway and Poledouris, outtakes and more
– A Tribute to Basil Poledouris, a series of videos produced by the Úbeda Film Music Festival, including video of Poledouris conducting a concert of music from Conan the Barbarian in 2006 (remixed in 5.1 surround)
– Theatrical trailers and image galleries for both films
– Double-sided fold-out posters for both films
– Twelve double-sided collectors’ postcards
– Illustrated collectors’ booklet featuring new writing by Walter Chaw and John Walsh, and archive set reports for both films by Paul M. Sammon
So, what of this new 4K box set from Arrow? I don’t think I have ever been so blown away by a 4K upgrade before than I have with these two films which look like they just came out recently rather than the early 80’s. They are remastered to perfection with faultless picture and sound; nothing looks waxy still maintaining the grain structure while still cleaning up the picture.
The Extended Cut of Conan The Barbarian is the definitive version for me and I likely will not watch the other two versions again as this just feels like the complete story. There are several hours worth of extras and I’ve barely scratched the surface of some of them. I particularly liked the tribute to Basil Poledouris who I feel is still a little underappreciated as a composer despite having done Conan, RoboCop and many more iconic film scores.
There are some fascinating behind the scenes tidbits like the story of how Malak was nearly played by a different actor who was seen as “difficult” but he had his reasons for being so. It’s this kind of interesting backstory I love hearing about and why we should treasure physical media like this which gives us special features lacking on streaming services.
Overall, The Conan Chronicles 4K set is a must have for fans of the films or just for collectors as there is so much to enjoy in terms of features. The films remain classic with Arnold at his best and they have never looked or sounded better. A must have!
